I know that this does not really fit with the rest of the posts on my blog so far but I think it is worth a read. We recently had a home birth with our son and this was my take on the whole experience. Enjoy, and remember dont be afraid to turn your thoughts inside out.
What are the first things that come to mind when someone mentions birth? Well I can bet from a guys perspective it is completely different from that of a woman that is preparing to give birth. When we found out we had our second child was on the way the first things that I started thinking about were things like, oh no, I’m going to have to change diapers again, a slow medley also started playing in my mind while I was kissing the thought of sleep goodbye and all of this while my wife was starting to research her birthing options and making phone calls to check on what she called “The Important Stuff”. To me, making sure we had our closet stuffed with diaper genie refills was “Important Stuff”, come to find out, making the correct decision about where or who is going to deliver your newborn is a little higher on the importance meter.
We had a midwife as our provider with our first child but it was set in the hospital environment and seemed no different than having a standard doctor handling things, and since this was our first child what seemed like 490 Glucose tests and all these other tests that they kept requesting my wife go through all came off as a normal procedures and I had nothing to question. That is until we met Allyson.
I came home from work and Becky had mentioned that we were going to meet with a potential midwife and she had settled on the idea of having a home birth. Okay, this is where the differences shine. She was all engines go and I was riding the brakes, even though I knew we had a very normal uneventful birth with our daughter the thought of something happening just kept lingering in my mind and then the more pity things like, umm well who is going to clean everything up and can I watch TV in the warmed birthing pool prior to the delivery?? What guys doesn’t want a hot tub in the living room.
After meeting with Allyson we walked out of well-rounded momma and got in the car and both said at that moment that we have found the right person. From that point forward every thing went great, we switched off having our appointments at the office and at our house, which is very nice when it comes to building a relationship with your midwife. You can verify that claim with my three-year old daughter who thinks of Allyson as another friend to play with. This relationship that was forged I think not only made things easier on us but it helped my daughter to better understand what was happening and what things were to come in the very near future. When I look back to the experience we had with our daughter, it went something like this. Walk into the doctors office and sign in with the lady working the desk with a cold, get called back into the private room and wait 25 minutes to see the doctor/midwife for 10 minutes with the first 5 minutes being them reading the chart to make sure they don’t call Mrs. Bryant, Mrs. Jones from the room next door. With Allyson this was not the case, you can ask all the questions you want and go over all the “Important Things” until you are blue in the face and she wont be spending all the time she is with you rambling off random medical terms just to conclude your visit by sending you to the lab to choke down the worst tasting orange soda in the world, (I took a sip so I know). Everything was to the point and concise and within a matter of weeks we had spent more time actually discussing the pregnancy with Allyson then we did the entire time with our daughter, thus leaving us much more prepared for what was to come.
The day had come, first and foremost let me add, I should have placed bets at the local casino, I had told my wife that I had this strong intuition that her water was going to break in our bed and Isaiah was coming and she just laughed at me before we went to bed… If only I could have recorded that moment at 3AM when I was nudged and she calmly said, “ Um Raymond, I think my water just broke in our bed.” Now I in no way want to sound Cauchy but I may have well jumped out of the bed to do a touchdown dance because I was on fire. We made the call to Allyson and she was at the door in no time ready to go with all the necessary items. This is when I was really able to see the differences between a birth with a midwife and the standard hospital birth that we had experienced with our daughter. As a guy I tend to try and compare scenarios to things that I can fully relate with and being a tattoo artist for many years now, I compare the hospital birth to a tattoo shop, we want you to come in knowing what is going to happen and we may adjust your original plans a little to better fit our needs and then we want to blow that thing out so you are not sitting in our chair for hours on end while we miss opportunities to make more money. This is a mirror of my opinion of a hospital experience but what we experienced with this home birth could not have been more opposite. Once Becky had gone into full on labor I was almost waiting for that update of, “ Okay you are at –cm” but it never came. As time passed my mind began to wonder, “ so how long is this is going to go on, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the pain my wife was and right at the moment when Becky said she was done and did not want to do this anymore, Allyson calmly reached down and said, you can grab your son. Huh? Really? Is she serious? These all flashed in my mind at that second and sure enough there he was.
With all of her information and coaching through the last 9 months Becky had done it, a natural water birth with no medical interventions, in my opinion that is one amazing accomplishment and to top it off he was 10lbs and 22inches. I can’t speak for everyone but I think the home birth with Allyson beats a hospital birth hands down. The over all care that you receive and the relationship that you build while going through the entire process is priceless and could not be replaced by just another white coat. Thank you Allyson and Well-Rounded momma, we could not imagine this experience going any other way.
All Things Raymond 