Posts Tagged ‘life’

Being Controlled by the Uncontrollable

Posted: May 18, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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I have not written anything in quite a while but it is time to get back to it and lately the thought of letting the uncontrollable control you has been on my mind. I know that sounds a little out there and may not make complete sense to you but just think about it for a few minutes. Remember that time your car broke down and you got so angry you started kicking your tire and throwing an adult fit in the street, or how about the time you lost your job due to circumstances that were by far out of your control but you insisted on sitting on the couch and eating bon bons while feeling bad for yourself and in turn that would be allowing that uncontrollable situation to control you… Feel free to tell me if I am out of line when saying that we all do this at some point or another.

Allowing something to “control” you can be interpreted in many ways, maybe you are controlled physically, mentally or emotionally. Now if you are reading this and you just said to yourself, ” wow, you are right, something is controlling me” I am going to confess now that I am not going to be uncovering some long-lost answer as to how to solve this problem. My thoughts about this lead more to forcing ourselves to shed light onto the areas we are allowing to be controlled and maybe take a shot at figuring out why exactly we allow things to control us in that way. I know that sometimes I allow things that I have no control over like, when something is going to happen or when I am going to receive something control me both mentally and physically. For instance, something as simple as a package that you are waiting for sometimes controls people. Think about the last time you were excited about a recent purchase and you did not have a tracking number. You probably waited around your house instead of going to take care of other things just pacing and wondering… When is it going to be here while looking out the window every time you hear a large truck go by. I don’t care what you say, that is a form of being controlled by the uncontrollable.

What about more important things in life… Like, your bills, your marriage, your job, your kids. All of these things have the necessary things that we deal with and work for, but what about those things you cannot control, come on don’t draw a blank on me now.. That unexpected bill that came in the mail, that disagreement you had with your spouse, that raise you have been waiting for at work or those tantrums your kids have been throwing. Now I know some of these sound like controllable situations but when you really think about it they are not. I know that I have dealt with every single one of these situations and I may not have handled them the best but I know that I allowed them to control me in one way or another.

This is another one of those topics that can be taken in multiple ways and I want to make it clear that I am not in any way saying to just lay down and let all these situation just take you over and not do anything about them because that is obviously not the case. I guess what I am getting at is that it seems to me that it would be more beneficial to our handling the issue at hand if we actually determine the effect it is having on us. If you know that  you are allowing something to control you to the point of distraction there has got to be a reason why that specific issue has such a gripping effect on you.

To me it seems the hardest part of allowing something to control you is when you actually realize that something is controlling you. What happens then? Do we allow the fact that we are allowing something to control us consume us thus allowing that to control us as well. It is like a vicious cycle and if we do not actually take the reins and push through allowing ourselves to be controlled the cycle will continue. How do you break the cycle you ask? I have no idea, we are all different and we all handle thing differently but like I mentioned before, I think recognizing that we are allowing this is the first step to no longer allowing it. In those moments when you feel like you are being consumed and you can’t do anything about it, step back and look at just what is causing those feelings. It is all too easy to be controlled by the uncontrollable and is much harder to actually look at your situation and control the controllable which in turn may alter what was at one point uncontrollable. As you can tell, this topic is a complete flood of random thoughts I have had lately about being controlled by the uncontrollable and when I stopped to think about it these are the things that came to mind. You may think this is the most random pile of words you have seen come up on your screen in a very long time but I am willing to bet of you got this far, you have some thoughts of your own now, so take the time to click that comment button and “Turn Your Thoughts Inside Out.”

Raymond

Define Yourself

Posted: April 19, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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Who are you? Where do you belong? What are you meant to be doing? Have you ever asked yourself those questions? Most of us have at some point or another, that’s not to say that we have all come up with answers because in most cases we have not. I have read about people who have spent their entire lives searching not for a place, or an item but instead for themselves. This may sound far-fetched but aren’t we all searching for something at some point or another. Maybe you are searching for friendship, acceptance, Love, happiness, or comfort. These are all things that people search for daily and when you put these things together and mold them into the bigger picture in all reality what we are trying to figure out is… Who am I? Where do I belong? and Am I meant to be where I am right now? If you are looking for answers here I will stop you before you read any further because I don’t have that answer for you, but I can tell you that you do have the answers to all of those questions and more. They are all wound tight deep within yourself. I personally feel like sometimes I am too wound up in what society says is the normal and where society tells me I should be and what I should be doing and where I belong. Finally after lots of searching I have found that the answers are all within reach for all of us to grasp.

First of all take on the “Who are you?” question, Obviously who you are is not written up and given to your parents in an owners manual when you are born, instead it is instilled within you. Take a hard look into the mirror and look yourself in the eyes and ask yourself, ” What defines ME?” Who you are is what you let define you, that will most likely be different for all of us since I have yet to meet two people who honestly have the same defining characteristics or traits. All too often I see people around me allowing someone else in their life define who they are and this in turn is doing nothing but allowing that other person to deprive you of who you really are. I feel like a lot of us have grown to be okay with submission to those around us simply to conform to avoid ridicule. Is that what defines you? Fear? Fear of what may come of you if you decide to stand on your own two feet and truly embrace who you are deep within. In my personal opinion the only person besides god you will ever have to answer to is yourself and if you are not open and honest with yourself about who you are what makes you think you will be able to be honest with the big man…

Where do I belong? I think this goes hand in hand with the Who am I question, the first step in my mind is to figure our who you are before you can embarque on this journey to find where you belong. I know that is a lot easier said than done since that first step of figuring out who you are as a person may take months if not years of your life. Even thought I feel these fall in line with each other I also think they are two completely different processes that you will take to get to conclusion of each question. I know for me, this has been a long road to figure out where I belong. Stop thinking ground level on this one and go deeper, I am not referring to Geographical location I am referring to a total Where do I belong in Life? Yes I think for me this question encompassed my physical location for quite sometime and I think I have finally nailed that one in. As I mentioned before there really is no definitive answer to some of these questions and this is one of them. For example, I know that I am in Las Vegas for more than myself and my family alone. I am here to help change others as well, You can ask me what I mean by that and I would probably just look at you for a while and say, ” I really do not know, but I know that is what I am here for.” Of all places for me to end up I ended up in Las Vegas, one of the cities in the United States known for tearing apart hopes and dreams of thousands of people each year, yet somehow I know I belong here for good reason. When you end up were you belong in life you will know, It may not be a letter in the mail telling that you have arrived to your promise land, but your sign will appear and that is when you need to take the next step and seize that moment and make the best of what are given and always keep in your mind that all things really do happen for a reason, even if you don’t know what that reason is.

For me I think the question of “What am I meant to be doing?” Is one of the most difficult questions to ponder because I truly think that you do not receive the answer until your last few days here. Yeah, that’s what I said,” I don’t think you will know what you were meant to be doing until you are on your last leg in life.” Again, think deeper than the surface here. I am not talking about your day job… I know I am not alone in my thinking that we all have a higher purpose that we are here for and even when you get that tugging at your heart that you should be doing this or that we are wired to question it. Think about why we question things. It is not for knowledge most of the time, When you were 17 or 18 and getting ready to do something stupid did you question it because you wanted to know more about whatever you were about to do, or did you question it because you were out of your comfort zone? It was due to comfort. We do this when it comes to a lot of things in life, one that I have seen up close and personal is with following god. We become hesitant and almost begin to question, ” uhhmm, excuse me.. God, are you sure that is what you want me to do?” Ask yourself, why would you question that? I’ll tell you why I did at one point in my life. It was all because I was out of my comfort zone and when you are out of your comfort zone it is no longer easy to do and becomes difficult and we do not like difficult. So my thoughts on this tell me that when you are in your last days on earth you will see the things that you devoted your life too and it will either bring you joy knowing that you accomplished something and made a difference or you may look back and say to yourself, ” I didn’t do anything” and at that very moment we will know what we were meant to be doing.

Overall I think we are all searching for answers to at least one of these question when I think we all have the answers already and we just need to remove the clutter that we have scattered on top of them. The key to all of this is figuring out what defines you. Getting rid of the facade of happiness and really finding true happiness within ourselves is the answer to most of the questions we ask ourselves. Lets stop letting those around us directly or indirectly define who we are and remember that going against the grain is not a bad thing so take that step to start defining and creating the real you, because once you find happiness within yourself you will be able to honestly answer the question of who you are and with that answer comes many more. In my mind you must define yourself long before you attempt to define the world that you will call home because without a clear picture of who you are you will never be able to answer these other questions that rely on the real you as a foundation. So when that time comes stand up and take that moment and make it yours and don’t let anyone define it for you. You may not agree with my views on this topic and that is your right, and if that’s the case I strongly suggest you click the red comment button in the upper right hand corner and take the time to ” Turn Your Thoughts Inside Out”

Raymond 

The Small Things

Posted: April 18, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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I received a comment last night from the author of “Lighter Dark Side” and he wrote, ” It’s rare to find people caring about the small things in life, and this is what makes your blog a nice read.” When I initially read this I thought to myself, ” that was a cool comment” I then began to think about how true that statement really is. It is extremely rare to find people in today’s world that care in the slightest about “The Small Stuff” we also have different interpretations of what the small stuff really is. What is your idea of the small stuff? Is it a kind smile and a hello from a complete stranger or is it maybe the screaming sound of your kids running to you when you get home from work. It can be as small as having that trusty stick of chapstick with you at all times. No matter what the small things are it seems to be a dying tradition to really cherish and respect the small things. Think about when you were a kid and you had one of your first crushes on someone and you always wanted to do the biggest thing you could for that person or buy them the best gift ever but no matter what you do nothing will impress more than paying attention to the small things and getting something out of thought and not glamour.

We are all guilty of losing site of what really matters at some time or another. I read back over my blog after getting that comment and I realized how much all of my posts all seem to have this slight similarity and it is usually some sort of Good deed or thought of doing right by someone else. I am beginning to think that my “small things” are things that may be small actions to me but may have large impacts on those around me. Not saying this is what we should all be concentrating on but ponder how much happier those around us would be if we all just paid attention to the small stuff. Maybe your friend at work has been down in the dumps for some reason and in most cases like this that person may consciously or subconsciously make subtle comments about what it is that is causing it, but most of us go about our day and pay no attention to those small things. Even though by you listening and maybe doing one “small thing” for that person you may make a Huge difference. Lets go further than that, maybe your husband or wife has been acting different and it is due to you simply being busy and in your busy schedule you have not taken the time to see the tiny signs that they are showing that simply say, ” I need some attention.” Sometimes the small things like a hug or a simple, ” How are you?” can make a huge difference to that person.

This list can go on and on and on; But to me, It proves that some of the most important things are the “Small Things.” Lets make the cut just a little deeper now, what if we go through life only paying attention to our needs and ignoring all the small things only concentrating on what we think is important, would that be a joyful life? would it make those around you say, ” I want to be like him or her?”  A simple and easy answer to all of those questions is simply “NO”. As a society I think we look up to People like celebrities, and sports players and other “idols” of sorts. What happened to looking up to your Grandma, or your Mom, or your Aunt or Uncle maybe even a friend or even that stranger you just watched buy a homeless guy coffee and a blanket or what about the special ED teacher that gives all they have to educate people who in most cases get treated like less than people when In all reality they sometimes have a bigger heart than you and I combined. You may be questioning my thoughts right now, ” But Raymond, why would I look up to my family members or friends? They are just like me.” Well that is exactly why, they are just like you but do you not recall all the small things that they have done to influence your life and help build the person you are and the person you will become.

Take a few minutes to digest this all and then start thinking about all the small things you could be doing for those around you whether it be a smile, lending a hand, or just being there to listen to someone. Remember that sometimes the “small things” that you do or say have the largest effects on others so take the time to pay attention to life and not just over look the small things to reach big things because in that moment that you over look the small thing, someone may be down there just waiting for you to see it, in hopes that you may be that “ONE” person that takes notice of the small things in their life and makes a huge difference. As I have mentioned many times now, you may not agree with my thoughts on this topic and that is your right, if that is the case I encourage you to click that little red comment button in the upper right and take the time to ” Turn Your Thoughts Inside Out.”

Raymond

No More Settling

Posted: April 15, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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Dont settle For LessMy plan today was to be silent, not write anything and give it a break for the day but no matter what I do there is always something worth thinking about and in turn that means that there is always something worth writing about. With that said, here you go. I have been noticing a trend with people lately and yes this includes myself, why does it seem that more and more we are becoming okay with just being “okay” what happened to wanting to be spectacular or above par? Why do so many of us become complacent with the position that we are in? Whether we are referring to our job, our personal relationships, our spiritual relationships or simply our own happiness. I am seeing more and more of this, ” ahhh I guess this is it” attitude. My response for myself is ” No This Is Not It” we need to get up and do something about this lack of drive or lack of perseverance.

Really look back in history and think about if all of our predecessors took on this attitude. Maybe they would have said things like, ” Ahh, there is no need to build this railroad” and ” Who needs lightbulbs, we can just live in the dark and only have light for part of the day”. In a sense that is what we are doing to ourselves, acting as if we don’t mind being in the dark because it is just easier that way. Do you remember when you were a kid on your first day of junior high? Did the teacher walk into class and say, ” Welcome to Junior High, Here you will learn to push yourself to achieve half of what you are capable of and we will show you that it is okay to settle for straight C’s, because that is what your parents want for you”.  Absolutely not, and could you imagine if when you were getting married the pastor decided to spice up your vows a notch and say, ” Do you Raymond take this woman to be your wife on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s and the occasional Saturday for Health and sometimes sickness until You decide to part?” Are you kidding me? Oh and one of my favorites, If you are a religious person imagine if you happened to be reading through the bible and you see a quote from Jesus saying, ” Thank you my son for half heartedly committing your life to me. He who is not ashamed to confess my name on Sunday’s and the occasional Easter and Christmas will be put on the VIP list at the gates because you have done so so.” Unfortunately I don’t see any of those situation working out. Settling for okay is more detrimental than just not doing anything at all.

I know that sometimes we do not mean to settle but it happens anyways, like that big project we take on and we know that we can get it done in just a few hours but it becomes tough and tiring so we leave it half done for a while and it may bother you for a week or so but eventually we become okay with it being that way and it is forgotten about. I look at this “project” example the same way I look at us as people and the way we just give up on our own happiness in some cases. You try to be happy, looking around every corner for the next thing to bring out that inner child in you and eventually it becomes tough and tiring and we just leave it and we think about it for a while and eventually we become complacent in our situation and never revisit it.

Once I started thinking about this and churning through my thoughts piece by piece I realized that I am guilty of this as well, we all are in one aspect or another but the first step to not being just “okay” is to realize that it is not okay to be okay. I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people here in Las Vegas that are not okay with being okay and when you are around those people you know it. They wont settle for being mediocre in any facit of their life and there is always that obvious drive to succeed. One thing I do not want to get confused here is that If you are attempting to do your best and you fall short that is not settling to be okay, unless you choose to. The easy part is falling down, the tough part is getting back up.

I guess the point that I am trying to make with all of this is that we really are the only ones that can choose to not just float down the river we all call life, being okay with allowing the flow of water to drive our boat into the rocks, we need to sit up straight and navigate our path and if what we want is up river it’s time to get out the paddles and go against the flow, it will be tough and tiring but I know we wont just settle and pull in the paddles and let our boat be swept away with the current of life.

Raymond

All In Or All Out

Posted: April 12, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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One Foot Out Okay, this is probably the first absolutely spontaneous post on my blog yet. Not that I stood in front of a mirror and rehearsed what I was going to write on the others but this one just came into my mind due to a recent conversation with a few people I know. Have you ever made a decision about something in your life whether it be a big or small decision and when you made the decision you were 100% on board. Then when you finally decided to make the leap to put the decision into practice you found yourself keeping 1 foot back in the old and only going one foot into the new? I think at some point we all have but I really started thinking about this while working and I can’t seem to come up with an answer as to why we do this sometimes. Can it be that we are never really sure what we fully want? Or maybe we are wired to not want to let go of things that we experience and we want to just hold on to a piece of everything.

If you are unsure of what I mean I will give you an example, think about when you were a teenager and in high school, You have lots of options as to what you can do with yourself after high school but we all eventually had to choose. I know some of us chose and off we went but it’s more likely that you chose what you wanted to do and started doing it while part of you still said, ” Maybe I want to go try this.” Now this is obviously not a bad thing, I personally am the type of person that likes to try multiple things just to see if I can do it and do it well, were the issue comes in for me is when I decide to “try” something but I do not give it my all because I want to continue to “try” this other thing. It has taken me a long to realize that I will receive much better results if I am either All In or All Out.

Taking the All In Or All out approach has multiple pros and cons depending on what you are applying it to. For instance, the things that I know I like to try or things such as spray paint art, building things and other hands on activities that when going all in can become very expensive but rewarding at the same time. The other more serious side of the All In All Out mentality is when you are applying to relationships or religion and things that affect others. I’m sure a lot of you readers are married or have children, let me ask you; would your spouse or kids appreciate you not being All In? Ha, I think not… Take a look at religion for one second, if you are devoting yourself to a religion does it do you any good to be partially in? I’m not sure about you but I don’t think it does. Its like if I said,”I’m going to take anger management classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and Cage Fight on Saturdays.” Unfortunately I do not think I would succeed at either unless I took the all in mentality to one or the other.

I think I may try to consciously make the decision to be either All In Or All Out when it comes to making decisions and what kind of change this can make. Once again, you may not feel the same about this topic as I do and that is why I will always finish my posts encouraging you to click on the comment section and make your mark here and “Turn Your Thoughts Inside Out.”

Raymond

Case Of The Mondays

Posted: April 11, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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Case of the MondaysWhen you hear that loud screeching of your alarm on Monday, unless you are Iron Man, I highly doubt you come shooting out of your bed with a smile on your face and ready to work. This morning I was thinking just what Mondays normally consist of for me and I started wondering if I am the only one that feels this way about Mondays. You just spent the last two days either hanging out and relaxing or taking care of the loose ends that we all neglect to take care of during the week, no matter who you are when Sunday afternoon about 4pm rolls around you start to think about that dreaded day we all call “MONDAY”.

Whats so different about this day, it’s just like any other right? Wrong, it is not like any other day at all, Maybe it is just me but Monday is always the most trying day of the week for many reasons. I personally am an IT Manager for a small company and no matter how smooth the last week was and no matter how high of a note we ended the week on I can basically go into my Monday knowing that my morning coffee comes with a side of To Do’s a mile long. The copier will be broken, the main inventory computer will be down the server will crash and user errors will be at an all time high. I may as well have the ” Somebody Has A Case Of The Mondays” guy sitting on my desk waiting for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t let Monday get me down or slow down my week. Monday has become the most comical day of the week for me. I now have my own list of things to expect on Monday and I will share it with you right now. My Monday’s now consist of the following: I will sleep through my alarm, My breakfast will be either horrible or non existent, I will get cut off by that pesky red truck getting on the freeway and I will get absolutely nothing I planned to get done at work done due to the meltdowns at everyone elses desks.

Like I have mentioned before, I try to take the thoughts I have and spin them into a positive light no matter what the case. I have to say that this has not always been an easy one for me to do that with but to make my Mondays not seem so Mondayish I take some time to help out someone other than myself. I think the Mondays come partially from putting it in our own minds that it is Monday and it’s going to be a long week. I don’t know about you but I have more Mondays than not that I open my eyes, hit my alarm, and say out loud. ” ohhhh I hate Mondays.” Let me ask you this, would your Monday be just a little bit better if someone brought you a coffee or told you that you are doing a good job or simply told you how good it is to see you today? These small acts of kindness speak volumes and I think are the best medicine for someone with the Mondays.

Take your Monday and make the best of it, and instead of making it “YOUR” Monday, Lets try to make it “OUR” Monday. If we all did one nice thing for just one person every Monday it would be a short period of time before people start waking up looking forward to starting the week because doing something for someone else has a stronger effect on you than you will ever be able to imagine. If you don’t believe me try it. By the way, It is nice to see you today…. Go turn your thoughts inside out and make someones Monday just a little bit better.

Raymond

Everyones A Critic

Posted: April 7, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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Okay, so I am a very opinionated person just like a lot of you are. But does being opinionated make you a critic? I am not talking about a food critic or movie critic or an American Idol judge. I am talking about that guy or that girl that you know that you are friends with but almost can’t stand to be around them because they always have something to say about the way you do “Everything.” I hope you are not confused because you know exactly what I am talking about. Think about the other day when that person was in your car and you turned left and they thought you should have turned right. Instead of just keeping their mouth shut and moving on they rubbed it in for the next 3 weeks. I have met more and more of these type of people and I almost enjoy them… Yes, I just said I enjoy them because if you pay attention to these people, which is exactly what they want and at the same time stay on the outside of their Critic Bubble you will experience some of the most entertaining conversations you have ever heard or been a part of.

I am the type of person that when you are full of crap and I hear you attempting to spread your crap I will call you out on it, but I have also come to notice that most of the “Critics” im right your wrong people are usually the people I am calling out, if you just sit back and let them continue to dig the hypothetical hole that the thing they call a mouth is digging eventually they begin to backfill that hole and call themselves out. As sad as that seems it is so true.

Some of the questions I ask myself when I am around some of these people is, do they know that they are saying that? Do they really think I believe that crap? Right after I asked myself those question I then begin to turn the questions my way…. Wait for it….. Wait for it…… Uh oh, Am I being a critic by standing back and criticizing this persons tendency to criticize? Did I know I was doing that?  What was I thinking?  Oddly enough the saying “Everyones A Critic” holds more water then you thought doesn’t it. If I remember correctly we are all supposed to help each other to move forward in life and sometimes we decide to stand back and look at what someone else is doing and just say well I’m glad I am not like that or, Look at that person criticizing everyone and everything, they should not do that they should instead be doing ( Insert your criticism here ). In my opinion every single one of us should look in our own mirror and take a look at ourselves before we decided to look into someone elses. If you look closely you may agree “Everyones A Critic”

This thought was not brought on by anyone or anything in particular, it’s just one of my inner thoughts I decided to turn inside out.

Raymond

Are Tunes Really That Important?

Posted: April 6, 2011 in Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It
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Yesterday afternoon I was at The Hard Rock hotel for a little while picking up some tickets that I had won Via a Facebook contest and while I was waiting there I noticed just how many people rely on music to get them through the day and perhaps what they call life. Just standing there for 20 minutes I heard how the band that was playing had changed someones life for the better and if it was not for the band this individual would not be where they are today…. I began to question, umm and where is that?, in line spending $60 on a ticket to this concert that does not start for another 2 hours at which you will probably not come any closer to the band then 5 feet and most likely they will not even realize you were there or that part of the cash they are blowing at the bar after the show even came from you. Or is there more to it than that?

I know for me I have music playing while doing most everything and it is not like back in high school when we would ask each other, ” Hey Bro, are you a rocker or a rapper?” I look back at that now and say what the hell was that about, you are neither lil weezy or Travis Barker, you are a high school kid that happens to like music and wants to associate with the cool group. But to me as we get older we start to evolve into a much more self driven and less influenced person that eventually starts to stand on our own likes and dislikes regardless of others opinions.

Music is now a huge motivator or mood catalyst for me, when drawing depending on what I am going to be drawing this will influence my music choice. Right now as I am writing this I am actually listening to Antoine Dufour.. Would you ever catch me listening to this in my car with the windows down blasting it like a concert in the park ” NOPE” but it fits for what I am doing now. With that in mind I can think back to yesterday’s events and say, Hmmm maybe that band is the cause for this person standing here today. You never know what someones influence is whether it be a person, a band, a drink, or an object. Music is ridiculously important; just pay attention today while you are out and about and think about the music that you hear and what it would be like if it was absent. It is everywhere, your car, the grocery store, the gas station, the doctor’s office even restaurants.

I guess what I am saying to myself is you can’t hastily say to someone, why do you listen to that crap or, ” Come on, that song can’t mean that much to you.” You never know how much the Zac Brown band’s ” a little bit of chicken fried” may mean to someone. What are your thoughts on music and its effects on your daily life? I am now convinced I don’t know what I would do without music.

Raymond